Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Not the best day....

Today was not the best day. Ade was not the most pleasant. He has started this new thing where I have to carry him everywhere and if I leave the room he cries! So not fun. Yesterday I strapped him on me to clean the kitchen and that worked for about 15 minutes. I found myself getting irritated today and then I felt guilty for getting irritated with him. I don't know why he is acting this way, maybe he needs some reassurance, maybe he is grieving or maybe he is just being a toddler.

I blame myself for today, we had family pictures in the morning so I'm sure that was a lot for him to take in. Then we had to run out to Payless before Maya's dance class because I didn't have any tap shoes. Headed to dance class at 1 which is right at his nap time so he didn't get a nap. I laid him down when we got home, he cried for like 5 minutes and was out, then he woke up after like 5 minutes and was screaming again. I went in and got him and was feeling irritated and my tender hearted little 4 year old looks up at me and says, "Maybe he is sad!" She got it and I didn't! Ughhhh.... As we speak he is laying in his bed protesting! I know he is tired and I don't want to get frustrated with him! He also has started a lovely fake cry!

I know he is probably testing his boundaries and seeing how far he can push me. Trying to find out what is acceptable and what is not! I totally get that. But today I just feel like I failed. I was having a selfish day! Pray for me and Ade that tomorrow would be a better day! He truly is a very good baby. Just having an off day!

7 comments:

  1. Yep - I get it!
    It's hard to try to get things done when you have attachment stuff to do too!
    I had a lot of computery stuff to do today and at one point Lily came in and physically put her face in front of mine - between me and the screen! I had a second or two of being annoyed that she wouldn't let me finish the email I needed to write, but realized she didn't understand why I was giving the screen more attention than her! Off days happen. Don't beat yourself up! Tomorrow is a new day!

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  2. Lily does the same thing about being put down or me walking away from her. She is NOT a happy girl!!! I meant to "wear" her much more than I actually am, but I was just so surprised at how quickly she attached that I didn't think I needed to as much? Eh, well...we'll just keep playing it by ear. This morning was the first time though that I woke up thinking "Oh man, are we ever going to get her little attitude under control?" and that's the first doubt I've had.

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  3. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone! Thanks guys! They are soooooo worth it though!!!:)

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  4. Hang in there, Ali. Hopefully today will be a better day. I have had a lot of selfish days too. And if it's not a whole selfish day, there are selfish moments! I'm sure you are doing great! Praying for you.

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  5. If it's any reassurance... it sounds like we are all experiencing similar 'issues'. We'll get through this... (I'm saying with confidence) that we will look back on these feelings a few months from now and smile.

    Hang in there girl... love ya!

    Laura

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  6. Oh, girl, that was me today. I was so easily irritated today and guilty about being irritated but not enough to stop being irritated! It's so unlike me! But then, having a kid is unlike me! Ha! I guess I have a good excuse. I don't know. But I understand what you mean. And I miss you!

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  7. I miss you all too! I was just thinking to myself, we're all in this together!!!

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