Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Not the best day....

Today was not the best day. Ade was not the most pleasant. He has started this new thing where I have to carry him everywhere and if I leave the room he cries! So not fun. Yesterday I strapped him on me to clean the kitchen and that worked for about 15 minutes. I found myself getting irritated today and then I felt guilty for getting irritated with him. I don't know why he is acting this way, maybe he needs some reassurance, maybe he is grieving or maybe he is just being a toddler.

I blame myself for today, we had family pictures in the morning so I'm sure that was a lot for him to take in. Then we had to run out to Payless before Maya's dance class because I didn't have any tap shoes. Headed to dance class at 1 which is right at his nap time so he didn't get a nap. I laid him down when we got home, he cried for like 5 minutes and was out, then he woke up after like 5 minutes and was screaming again. I went in and got him and was feeling irritated and my tender hearted little 4 year old looks up at me and says, "Maybe he is sad!" She got it and I didn't! Ughhhh.... As we speak he is laying in his bed protesting! I know he is tired and I don't want to get frustrated with him! He also has started a lovely fake cry!

I know he is probably testing his boundaries and seeing how far he can push me. Trying to find out what is acceptable and what is not! I totally get that. But today I just feel like I failed. I was having a selfish day! Pray for me and Ade that tomorrow would be a better day! He truly is a very good baby. Just having an off day!


  1. Yep - I get it!
    It's hard to try to get things done when you have attachment stuff to do too!
    I had a lot of computery stuff to do today and at one point Lily came in and physically put her face in front of mine - between me and the screen! I had a second or two of being annoyed that she wouldn't let me finish the email I needed to write, but realized she didn't understand why I was giving the screen more attention than her! Off days happen. Don't beat yourself up! Tomorrow is a new day!

  2. Lily does the same thing about being put down or me walking away from her. She is NOT a happy girl!!! I meant to "wear" her much more than I actually am, but I was just so surprised at how quickly she attached that I didn't think I needed to as much? Eh, well...we'll just keep playing it by ear. This morning was the first time though that I woke up thinking "Oh man, are we ever going to get her little attitude under control?" and that's the first doubt I've had.

  3. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone! Thanks guys! They are soooooo worth it though!!!:)

  4. Hang in there, Ali. Hopefully today will be a better day. I have had a lot of selfish days too. And if it's not a whole selfish day, there are selfish moments! I'm sure you are doing great! Praying for you.

  5. If it's any reassurance... it sounds like we are all experiencing similar 'issues'. We'll get through this... (I'm saying with confidence) that we will look back on these feelings a few months from now and smile.

    Hang in there girl... love ya!


  6. Oh, girl, that was me today. I was so easily irritated today and guilty about being irritated but not enough to stop being irritated! It's so unlike me! But then, having a kid is unlike me! Ha! I guess I have a good excuse. I don't know. But I understand what you mean. And I miss you!

  7. I miss you all too! I was just thinking to myself, we're all in this together!!!